Shani Coles

Thursday, 16 August 2018

MAKING CHANGES

I've noticed a change in me recently, and it's not one that I'm happy with. I sat with my Mum and sister a couple of nights ago (after my car broke for the second time AND ruined my plans for a birthday weekend in Norfolk:(). I opened up about everything that's been on my mind and just how I've been feeling as of late. It's sparked my want and need to make some changes to turn me back into my usual happy, chirpy self.

1. Stop putting so much pressure on myself
A huge goal of mine is to have my own creative business full-time. I;m nowhere near there yet, but I'm always trying to do a little bit each week to get there. But it's grating on me because I feel tired all the time, and my ideas don't work out how I want them to a lot of the time either.
I have to remember that I don't need to put so much pressure on it. I do believe that it will happen at the right time for me. I'm currently in a position where I'm earning enough money to pay my bills (and buy nice things once in a while), so I don't NEED this extra money, even though it would be nice.

2. Create because I love it
My blog has suffered due to my lack of energy and desire to do just about anything. So I;m hoping to direct my creativity back into this. I've been writing on a blog for 6 years, which shows to me that it's something I love doing. Instead of putting so much pressure and energy on my shop, I need to take a step back from that and just spend some time writing and taking photos for my blog instead. The love of designing things for my shop will come back when it's the right time for me.

3. Eat less and move more.
Since getting into my current mindset, I've been eating EVERYTHING. I never feel full, so I just eat and eat and eat. Working at the biscuit bakery means that there are sweet treats pretty much on tap. So it's been even worse at work compare to at home. I'm noticing weight gain, mainly by the way some of my clothes are fitting me. I'm really not happy about it, so i'm hoping to join a gym when I'm feeling a bit better in myself. It'll be good for the endorphins, but also for how I feel about my body.

4. Do more at the weekends
I've turned down a couple of fun get togethers with friends over the last few weeks, just through feeling like I don't have enough energy to be around loads of people. I've always found that kind of environment quite exhausting.
But it's meaning I'm sitting in the house every evening and weekend, this in turn means I'm not going out, which means I'm not wearing outfits that I love and also not shooting anything to put up on mere too. I need to start planning weekend activities so that I'm not only leaving the house for work (and food shopping).

So yeah, there's a huge brain vomit for you... There's a lot on my mind, it's meaning I'm sleeping for 8+ hours and night, sometimes sleeping through my alarms and being late for work which isn't the best.

To summarise;
I'm stepping back from my little shop for now. Apart from potentially ordering and playing with a new little gadget. I just need to ride the wave, create when I feel inspired and hopefully I can pick it up again nearer Christmas time.

Do more fun things outside of work. I get twi WHOLE days off but end up doing nothing with it. So I'm planning to put on a nice outfit, go somewhere photo worthy, get fresh air and snap some photos for my blog.

Moving more and eating less in pretty self explanatory. I need to find a gym or start running (something I have wanted to do for years).

It's hard to figure out which of these things are the signs and which are the symptoms of how I'm feeling. They might all be factors of my current state of mind. I think each are contributing to my current mood, and although none of them are huge problems in the grand scheme of things, the fact it's all come at once makes it feel like I've hit a brick wall.

I'm glad to get all of this off my chest, it'll be a constant reminder of how I plan to get through this little bump in the road. Back to regular proceedings soon :)
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Sunday, 1 July 2018

JUST MY THOUGHTS

As usual, it's been a while! But it's been longer than it usually is when I say that! So, I just thought I'd sit down and write down how I'm feeling at the moment. Maybe it will motivate me to do more, maybe it'll just clear a bit of space in my brain! Let's see.

Something that has affected me a huge amount in the last month is the unfortunate passing of my next door neighbour, who was only a couple of years older than me. My family grew up next door to him and his lovely family, but tragically he suffered with mental illness and it took his life in May. At first it didn't seem real and on my drive to work the next day it pretty much hit me like a tonne of bricks. Thinking about his wonderful family and how they will have to move forward, his daughter and her future. I got to work and cried my eyes out, suicide is something that I'm so aware of but until it happens to someone you know it doesn't seem real.

This event has triggered something in me. I didn't post blogposts because I had no passion for the ideas I was coming up with and it all felt so ridiculous in the grand scheme of things. I had no motivation or oomf to just crack on and make what I want to make. I guess I just needed some time to reevaluate everything. I want to be proud of what I put out into the world, even if only one person stumbles across it.

We had his funeral last week, I knew instantly that I wanted to go to say my final goodbye to him, and to be there to support his family at their time of need. It warmed my heart see so many people who's lives he had touch, come and show their love and support. I really hope he could see it too!

On another note, I've been thinking about the future a lot. Wondering where I see my life heading. I've got such a lovely job with a great team of people around me, but I know I want to carry on with my own online shop too and do this in the evenings and at the weekends. It's been difficult to feel inspired, and I rarely feel like my ideas will materialise into something as great as I'd hoped they could be. It's just difficult when you work 40 hours a week because I'm pooped when I get home and the weekends fly in the blink of an eye :(

Aside from this, I've also been thinking about where I'd like to be in a few years time and I think I vaguely know where that place is. Maybe I'll have a house of my own, a dog, and hopefully I'll be working full time for myself at that point too. There are so many things that I want to achieve, and ideas I want to bring to life.

I just hope that I keep pushing myself to work harder for a little longer, it'll all pay off in the end.
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Saturday, 26 May 2018

SIGNS OF SUMMER

My favourite seasons to dress for are without a doubt Spring and Autumn. So, I take full advantage of the weather that allows some jeans and a lightweight top. Here's a perfect example of a typical outfit you'll catch me in at the moment.
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Thursday, 24 May 2018

SUNDAY SUMMARY 8


14th May - 20th May

So, starting with the week just gone, I don't really have a HUGE amount to report.
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Monday, 7 May 2018

Sunday Summary 7

30th April - 6th May

1. This week has been a bit crazy and busy for me. On Tuesday the 1st I did my last ever shift at H&M, and after 6 months I was moving on to a new adventure. So much has changed since I got the job at H&M and I've learnt so much about myself too. I met so many lovely people and a group of us went for food on Friday as a goodbye meal. (Although it's more like a 'see ya soon').

2. I officially started my new job on the 2nd May and already love it. I love the consistent hours (which will hopefully mean a bit of a blogging schedule/more consistency). The variety in my job makes me excited for every new day, not to mention the fact i get EVERY WEEKEND OFF! That's something that was few and far between at my last job due to the nature of the work. But, since my parents brought the little cottage in Norfolk I'm so glad that I found my new job when I did.

3. It was a bank holiday and my family, dogs and I spent the whole weekend there. We visited so many cute places and it's made me so excited to go and visit all through the Summer and into the Autumn/Winter months too. I drove there in my car and can definitely see myself popping there on my own/with friends when I need a little break from reality.
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