Wednesday, 31 December 2014

THANK YOU LORI

Hi guys, I had planned on my previous post being the last of the year, however I realised I missed out someone who has become quite important to me over the last few months. Without being soppy I just wanted to write a little post showing my appreciation to her.

I met Lori on the first day of my new college course. I felt way out of my comfort zone, I was incredibly reserved and I just generally felt out of place. But as soon as we got chatting I realised how similar we are. We like the same things, we have the same attitude towards lots of different things and we hope to go on some crazy adventures in 2015.

Having only known Lori for a couple of weeks she quickly learned everything about me. Bad times, good times and everything in between. The best trait I think any person can possess is the ability to just listen, take some of the strain from you when you're going through a tough time. She is someone that I really look up to because she's incredibly outgoing, she does things that are scary and doesn't worry about the consequences. I want to be like this. I want to stop worrying about what could go wrong rather than just living in the moment.

Already, just being around her 3 days a week at college has changed me as a person. I've told her my crazy dreams and her support means so much to me. I'm starting to worry less about things that don't matter. There's no doubt in my mind that Lori has helped this change. We're planning on doing some crazy things in the New Year, things that will push me way out of my comfort zone.

So I guess what's left to say is thank you. Thank you Lori for inspiring me to better myself, thank you for making me fear less, making me laugh with some of the ridiculous things you say and being there for me when I just need someone to listen.

2015's going to be great, I just know it.
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THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE SO FAR - 2014

After a rocky end to 2013 (READ HERE) I was determined to make 2014 better. This is going to be quite a long, ramble post so be prepared for a big post! I'm going to write about the year in months, so let's begin.

JANUARY
January wasn't great, I was grieving the loss of one of my dogs and to top it off I was also back at sixth form. A place that brought me no happiness. I also had some mock examinations but the first was cut short due to suffering a panic attack. The exam organisers at my school set about helping me find a coping mechanism and it was planned that my Summer exams would be set in a room on my own to help me stay calm.

FEBRUARY + MARCH
At the end of 2013 I had applied for 2 university courses at my local uni. They were to study Primary Education or Early Years Education. At this point I was pretty certain that university wasn't for me however I managed to secure an interview so went for the day. It was a good experience however I went to Northern Ireland in the holiday to see my Great Auntie and Cousin and found out that I hadn't been accepted on the course that I had applied for but had received two similar offers. They weren't what I had a applied for and I spent a long time with my family discussing what I could do as my next step. This was the first time I'd considered going to college and studying a creative/art course. One thing that my Auntie said to me has stuck in my head ever since that day; 'Everything happens for a reason'. I wasn't thrilled with the thought of University anyway so maybe this happened to stop me, to consider something else rather than spending a lot of time and money on something I wasn't sure about.

My blog had obviously taken a back seat while I had these interviews and while I was away and I decided that I wasn't happy with my blog anymore. I've been writing a blog since January 2013 (Almost 2 years now!) and I wanted a change. It just felt like everything in my life needed a refresh so I set about the task of redesigning my blog and planning new posts.

APRIL + MAY
April was a great month for my blog. I set my new blog live and managed to post 13 times! I was also gradually cracking on with my coursework for school. In May blogposts slowed down again due to having a lot of hand in deadlines for my coursework. I handed them in and then focused on finishing my full coursework subject.

JUNE + JULY
June marked the end of my secondary school and sixth form life. I sat my two final exams, handed in my final units of coursework and had my leavers assembly and prom. After this my Mum and I decided that it would be a good idea to wait and see what grades I got before deciding on my new step. To pass the time and earn a bit of money I started working for her business. It involves art and design which I love so it was a really great experience for me.

AUGUST
In August I continued to work for my Mum and in the middle of the month went back to school to collect my A level results. I didn't feel too nervous about it seeing as in my head I was 100% sure that university wasn't for me. I looked at my grades and had managed to get the grades that I needed for university. But I definitely didn't want to go. Having worked for my Mum for a couple of months I was certain that I no longer wanted to become a Primary school teacher.

I got home and declined my offer straight away. There was no doubt in my mind that that was the correct decision. I felt so much happier just through no having to be at school and wanted my happiness to continue because that's the most important thing, that I'm happy. I had a browse of a local college's website and found a Graphic Design course that involves lots of things that interest me, from product design to typography. I cautiously applied and went in for the induction day. It was hands down the greatest decision I've made this year so I enrolled and started the course at the end of August.

I also turned 18 on the 18th of August, I'm legally an adult! I decided to just have a chilled day in my favourite place with a few of my favourite people. I went to London which is a place that makes me happy and inspires me so much. I wrote a little post about it (HERE).

SEPTEMBER
My college course was in full swing by September, the people in my group are all such lovely people and overall I was just so so happy. The course is only 2 and a half days long a week so I still have time to work for my Mum. Everything about the course is great, the tutors are lovely, the content of the course is so interesting and enjoyable. In September most of my friends went of too University so that was also strange but they've all had such a great time so far.

OCTOBER
October was a great month for my blog and I'm so happy with the quality and quantity of posts that I managed to write. I finally felt like everything was working out, I had time to work, study and blog and finally found a good balance between the things that I was doing.

NOVEMBER
November was very much the same as October, blogging, working and college. All three things make me incredibly happy so November was very good month for me.

DECEMBER
December has undoubtedly been the best month. I worked every possible day for my Mum's business because orders came in thick and fast for Christmas. This meant that I was earning money and my Mum very kindly let me buy a Macbook Pro. My previous laptop was almost dead and was about 6 years old. It was time to buy a new one and I really wanted to invest in a Macbook due to it being something I've wanted for a few years. This meant that as soon as I was on Christmas break from college I got planning lots of blog posts, posting frequently and could enjoy my rest when all Christmas orders had been sent. I saw all of my family on Christmas day and Boxing day which was really nice too.

I've also noticed an increase in blog views per day which is so exciting for me, although the numbers may not seem big to other people I'm just so happy that people continue to read my silly rambles. Thank you for reading my blog through 2014 and I hope you'll stick around to see what 2015 has to offer. I've got big plans for this little space on the internet!

Be sure to check back tomorrow to see my goals for 2015! Happy New Year, see you in 2015! xx
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Tuesday, 30 December 2014

MY FAVOURITE SPOT IN LONDON

Yesterday I went in to London with one of my friends to do a bit of shopping on Oxford street. It was totally mobbed, every shop was full to bursting and the street was chocka block with thousands of people. I've never experienced anything like that in London before because I've never chosen to go during the Christmas sales. I ended up not buying a single thing, mainly because I couldn't be bothered to search through all the crap and get pushed around by inconsiderate shoppers. I ended up feeling very crowded and uncomfortable. 

It didn't feel like I was in London. Usually when I'm in London I feel calm and all my worries melt away. I didn't want to go home feeling unsatisfied or with bad feelings towards London so we decided to take a trip to my favourite place in London. Southbank.

It never feels too busy or hectic and yesterday we went when it was dark. All the lights looked so beautiful and we walked past the London Eye and the Houses of Parliament. There were very few people around which meant I could just take in the calm atmosphere and I was also able to appreciate the beauty of the city. All the buildings looked incredible and there were lots of cute stalls lined up down the side of the river. I picked up a hot chocolate and we must have walked for an hour or two. I thought I'd include photos of this area that I've taken on a couple of trips. I think this will always be my favourite spot in London.





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REMOVE THE BAD

I'm talking about friends.
Throughout school and life in general friends are found and friends are lost. It's just what happens.

I struggled to remove the bad and constantly forgave or ignored horrible things that were said about me or done to me. Because I hate change and I wanted to be accepted. I hated the thought of having to find a new group of friends if I chose to leave a previous group of friends. I struggle in those kind of situations but it's something I'm slowly learning to do. But for some reason I was so desperate to not leave these 'friends'. I used to leave the group of friends feeling like I was the topic of conversation as soon as the door closed behind me.

The reason I didn't leave my secondary to study my A levels elsewhere was because I was scared to lose my friends. So I endured two of the worst years of my life at sixth form due to my fear of change.

When I finished my A levels I didn't want to go to University but I managed to pluck up the courage to study somewhere else. I haven't look back since. I'm now a bit unsure about what to do. I feel like it's time to remove the last few 'bad' people from my life. Maybe not completely but I want them to understand that it's not the same as it used to be and these people shouldn't just assume that it is the same. Friendships are supposed to be equal and I don't feel like some of my friends are putting the effort in to seeing me, not as much as I wished to see them. But I don't miss it. Maybe it's because they were bad for me? I don't know but like I said, I'm happy now even though I haven't seen these people in a few months.

There have been people throughout my life who have said things about me that have really affected me negatively but I've forgiven them, however I don't forget because when other similar things arise in the same friendship I end up with a back log of reasons that I should not forgive the person again. I'm now surrounded by the greatest people ever at college. These people don't make me scared of being myself, I have been 100% myself since day 1. A lot of them have read my blog (something I tried my hardest to keep a secret from people that I've known and been friends with for years). That definitely says something about the people I was subjected to everyday at sixth form. I didn't dislike the education side of it, I think I disliked the attitude of almost everyone there. I could never be myself in fear of being in the firing line of someone's disgusting joke. A lot of the boys were incredibly vile and childish and would do things that made me feel uncomfortable everyday but it was always excused as 'banter'. I can't believe I managed to put up with it for two full years.

I still speak to a handful of the people that were there. Good riddance to everyone else. I thought I'd miss them but I couldn't be happier that I don't see any of them anymore. Do not feel guilty if you wish to cut people out of your lives. Don't put up with being at the end of every single joke because your career goals are 'pathetic' or because you enjoy things that other people don't.

Find people that push you to accomplish your crazy dreams. Find people that can find the good in everything, someone that accepts everyone as their own person. Someone who doesn't have a bad word to say about a single person. That's the kind of people I'm now surrounded by. It's changed my whole outlook on life. You don't need to stick with a group of people because there's no one else. There are people out there that will accept you no matter what. Go out and find them and promise me that you'll never look back.

I've got no hard feelings for the people I've cut out of my life. I would be a totally different person if I didn't meet them. No more negativity.
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Friday, 26 December 2014

BOXING DAY OUTFIT

Hi guys! I hope you all had a lovely Christmas. I didn't plan on posting today but I really like my outfit so thought I'd post it before I head to my Grandparents house to continue the celebrations with all of my Mum's family.

Black Jumper - Zara
Necklace - Topshop
Watch - Nixon
Coated Black Leigh Jeans - Topshop
Shoes - Topshop

I also thought I'd include a little FOTD selfie because I've decided to start wearing make up for the first time in about 3 years so I just thought I'd show you the simple look that I went for.


I hope you're all having a fantastic holiday and are spending lots of time with the people you love. I also thought I should write a little thanks to my little sister who took the photos of my last two OOTD's so thanks Keeley.

See you all soon x

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Thursday, 25 December 2014

CHRISTMAS DAY OUTFIT

Hi guys, Merry Christmas! I hope you're having an amazing day and got everything you wished for. I just want to say a little thanks to my parents for all of my lovely gifts, I'm very lucky :)

I thought I'd show you my Christmas Day outfit because obviously it's a special occasion and I made a bit more effort than usual.


Shirt - Topshop
Jumper - Zara
Jeans - Topshop Leigh
Boots - Newlook (on Asos)
Necklace - Topshop
Watch - Nixon
Lipstick - Rimmel Kate Moss Shade 30

I hope you like it, and I also hope you're not spending too long on the internet today! I'm at my grand parents house using their wifi so I'll be off now haha. Bye x
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Wednesday, 24 December 2014

CHRISTMAS 2013 WAS THE WORST

Last Christmas was the worst ever.
A few days before Christmas my Golden Retriever, Rosie, was ill and we had to rush her to the vets. She was diagnosed with cancer. My whole family were totally devastated. We were given medication to give to her to help her get through Christmas.

However, on Christmas day her condition deteriorated fast and we knew her time was up, she was no longer eating and struggled to get up from her bed. I spent the lead up to Christmas and the whole of Christmas day not able to eat much and I was constantly in tears. I spent the whole day laying next to her on her bed. During Christmas night through to boxing day we took turns sitting up with her and just stroking her so that she knew someone was there with her. One of my other dogs, Dottie, who is six spent a lot of the night laying next to her which was the sweetest thing I've ever seen.

At 6am I went downstairs to sit with her and we then collectively made the decision to take her to the vets. After I sat with her for a while longer we said our final goodbyes and carried her out to the car. She passed away peacefully on the way to the vets.

It was so difficult for me and it's a hard thing for others' to get their head around but she was like my best friend. It was also hard to explain how I felt to some of my friends because it felt like I seemed quite pathetic for being so devastated. I hesitated to write this post for so long because even after several months it was still incredibly raw and any little thing that reminded me of her made me burst into tears.

So it's been almost a year. A year since she passed away. A lot of the time it felt like I wouldn't get over it. However, I slowly came to terms with the fact that she was around 12 years old. Sadly she would pass away at one point or another. I managed to find comfort in the fact that she wasn't ill for a huge amount of time, she passed away peacefully and thankfully didn't suffer.

Something that really resonates with me is something that the lovely Lily Melrose said in a post about grieving. Something along the lines of 'When someone dies know that they didn't stop loving you, they will continue to love you even though they are no longer here.'

As I said I know this post is not relevant for me anymore but it was a significant time in my life and I just felt like documenting it.

I hope you all have the most amazing Christmas and I'll see you tomorrow with a Christmas Day OOTD. I wanted to post this now because every post from now on will be positive and happy. See you soon x
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Wednesday, 17 December 2014

THERE'S NO ROOM FOR NEGATIVITY

Another impromptu post inspired by a good pal :)

Life is too short to be unhappy or to allow negativity to get the better of you. Life is short, do not waste a single second of it being unhappy. If there's one thing I've learnt in my life it's that everything works out eventually and you've just got to keep working for it. Quitters never prosper!

Life can throw some crap at you at times but it'll only make you stronger. You've got this, I believe in you.
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Monday, 15 December 2014

DECEMBER IS A BUSY MONTH

Hi guys, it's been quite a while since I last posted! November and December have been the two busiest months I've ever experienced. As some of you may know, I work for my Mum's handmade and personalised items business. With lots of orders coming in I've had to put my blog to the side to help as much as I can when I'm not at college.

Speaking of college, in the past two weeks I've had to hand in another two units of work and obviously I'm hoping to do the best that I can so I'm trying to put in as much work as possible. But with that out of the way I've been able to focus solely on getting all of the orders out in time for Christmas. I was hoping to go to London before Christmas Day but by the time we've completed the orders there won't be much time left so I may have to pop in after Christmas which is a shame because I really wanted to see the lights. I'll be trying my best to get there before though because London and Christmas are my favourite things so it would be nice to experience it.

In other news, I've had the same laptop for around five years now and for a long time it was great. However as it got older it just wasn't doing the job anymore. I've wanted a MacBook for so long but I've struggled to save the money because as all of my friends know, I'm the worst at saving money because I see clothes that I 'need' a lot.

Since starting my Graphic Design course I've realised even more that I do need a new computer and so with a lot of help from my parents I've been able to buy myself one. No more noisy computer, having to have it on a stand to prevent it from over heating or having to have it plugged in constantly like a desktop computer because the battery was knackered.

I hope this will also mean that blogposts can start becoming more frequent and I've got quite a few planned so look out for them in the coming weeks. It's been difficult to take blog pictures due there being no light when I get home from college and also finish work. Also, I finally have a computer that can handle video editing so as soon as this busy month is over I'm hoping to start uploading YouTube videos! So although this month is extremely busy, it's also been great and we're only halfway!

10 days until Christmas! Yaayyy
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Monday, 8 December 2014

JUST A THOUGHT: BODY CONFIDENCE

You can spend all your time and money changing parts of your body that you dislike, or you could invest both your time and money into truly living. Life is short and time waits for no one. Stop being unhappy and embrace your individuality.

After my confidence grew for a year, a few days ago I allowed myself to slip back into thinking that I need to change something about myself. My nose. I hate it, I absolutely despise it. 'No guy will like me because of it', 'I'll never feel pretty because of it'. Then I remember how far I've come. How much my confidence has grown. I went from not being able to find a single thing that I liked about my body to only being able to pin point one thing that I didn't particularly like. If someone were to dislike me simply because of one feature on my not so bad looking face then I don't want to be associated with them anyway.

As one of my friends told me, 'everyone has something they don't like about themselves, it's just human nature'.

Well, I say f**k you human nature, I've had enough of thinking that I need to look perfect to be beautiful. That in order to find a nice guy I've got to be perfect. I'm happy being perfectly imperfect and it's good enough for me.

Learn to love yourself because you're beautiful just the way you are. Wonky teeth, crooked nose, fat legs, thin legs. Whatever, you're perfect just the way you are.

Apologies for the deep post and the lack of posts, I've been busy but I'll be sure to post a few more of these little 'just a thought' blogposts as a little series so look out for them!
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Thursday, 27 November 2014

HOW DO YOU DEFINE SUCCESS?

How do you define success?

By your bank balance, the qualifications you possess, the friends you have?

I spent two or three years of my time at school being lead to believe that in order to be successful you must get a degree. You must spent three or four years studying for a qualification that will open more doors for you than your GCSE's ever will and even your A levels that you worked so tirelessly to achieve. Because money is more important than your happiness and apparently also your sanity. 

Because you're almost expected to make huge life decisions in your late teens. Decisions that you are forced to believe will impact the rest of your life.

I was mocked for being uncertain and for changing my career dreams at school. I was uncertain because it was drilled into my brain that what you choose to do now is what you'll have to do for the rest of your life. When I stated to several people from tutors to friends that I knew university was not for me I was told 'make sure you still apply' however, if someone knows that university is what they want to do they're not forced to look at employment if they change their mind.

Don't get me wrong I think university is great for a lot of people, lots of my friends are there now and are having the time of their life. All I'm saying is, a degree is not necessarily essential  in order to be successful. Obviously if you have a goal that requires a degree then go for it and do it because you want to, not because you feel it is expected of you.

Since being at college I have figured out how I would define 'being successful'. Being successful is being surrounded by people that never allow you to feel alone. Having friends that you can count on for anything. Being successful is never getting that 'Monday feeling' because you can't wait to get back to work doing something you enjoy every single day. For some, being successful is about what they own. I enjoy having nice things, especially if I've worked hard for them and I have some crazy things on my list of dream purchases. I'm not sure yet but maybe as you become successful your bank balance grows in equal measures.

I'm ready to prove that success is not measured by your qualifications or the amount of money you have, but how happy you are with the life you are living. If you aren't happy then it's your responsibility to change it.

How do you define success?
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Saturday, 22 November 2014

CHRISTMAS

Hi guys, today I popped to a garden centre with my family for lunch and a spot of shopping. I'm not sure why but I haven't really been in the Christmas spirit despite it being only a month or so until Christmas. I'm going to start writing the Christmas posts that I've had planned for the past few months! I'm also going to start my YouTube channel as soon as possible. I really want to do the Christmas tag this year so look out for that soon! I started feeling slightly more Christmassy whilst out today and I'm also hoping to take a couple of trips to London to see all the Christmas lights.


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Friday, 14 November 2014

TAKE ME OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE

I'm full of fear, fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, and the list goes on. I hate it and no matter how hard I try I can't change it. I have a care free attitude when it comes to people's opinions of me but at the same time I care a hell of a lot.

I look back at things I did a few years ago such as riding a pony through the choppy sea in the pouring rain with not a care in the world, or when I used to take my dogs out on my own in huge open fields and not worry at all. I feel like I used to be fearless and now I'm fearful. Maybe as I've grown up and had to experience or hear of others' experiences my fears have grown. When things happen to people close to home it proves how real these things are.

I know that fear is a natural reaction to things that can put you in danger, I just feel like I'm allowing mine to consume my teenage years by constantly asking 'what if' and more times than not, deciding against doing something because 'what if'.

I want to travel, I want to do crazy and spontaneous things but at the moment I don't feel ready. A lot of people say that your teenage years are the best years of your life. You have very few responsibilities and there's really not a whole lot that you have to worry about.

I'm 18 years old, and at the moment I'm struggling to just push my fears aside and enjoy myself and just live in the moment. I over think everything and rather than doing it and worrying about any possible consequences later, I think about what could possibly go wrong, before hand, and then most of the time talk myself out of anything I may have wanted to do.

Since joining college I've met Lauri who does some really cool things, she's positive 100% of the time and is just generally a very nice human being. She's now become my 'life coach'. I've asked her to help me conquer my fears. Help me live in the moment. Help me by being by my side as I attempt to do things I've always been too scared to do. Things varying from small to large. We're planning a few things and I'm excited to start making some crazy memories with her.

I love that she reassures me that everything's ok and let's me know that I'm safe if I ever feel fearful, along with making me laugh hysterically all of the time. I'm ready to start living my life and doing things I've always dreamt of but been too scared to do.

I'm excited that I'll be recording every 'achievement' on my blog so look out for them within the coming months. Let's do this!
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Monday, 10 November 2014

HELLO NOVEMBER

Hi guys, it's been a while! I've been super super busy recently with college, working and other things. I just wanted to write a bit of an update too.

1. I got a distinction in my first college unit! I can't believe it and I'm so so happy. I didn't think there'd be any way that I would be able to get a distinction overall but this has given me a boost in confidence and I'm ready to work my butt off for it.

2. Lots and lots of Christmas orders. I work for my Mum's business which is a textile based business where we make various bags and items with fabric. As we're getting near Christmas the rush is kicking in and again I need to work my butt off to keep on track with the orders.

3. IT'S NOVEMBER! I love Autumn and Winter so much and Christmas is my favourite time of year. I can't believe how quickly October flew by but I'm proud of how many times I managed to post. There'll be Christmas and Winter related fashion posts etc. I'm super excited to write some Christmas posts because I've had the ideas for quite a few since the start of this year!

Thanks for reading and I'll see you really soon. Bye x
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Thursday, 30 October 2014

3 AUTUMNAL NAIL POLISHES

Hi guys, today I thought I'd write a beauty post. These three nail polishes were purchased over the last couple of months and I think they're great for Autumn and Winter.




Maybelline Color Show - Downtown Red
The first polish is an Autumn classic. A burgundy nail is the perfect Autumn shade and it can add a small pop of colour to a plain outfit. Perfect for me considering I pretty much live in black clothes.

Barry M Gelly Hi-Shine - Grey
A few years ago grey nails was my thing, I'd wear it every single day. I totally forgot about grey nail polish until a few weeks ago when I saw this one. I think it's a great autumn shade and will go with everything.

Topshop Matte Nails - Sapphire Shores
Granted this isn't totally autumnal but This polish caught my eye and I've really been enjoying wearing it. I think that it's great for Autumn because it's not too light or bright.
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Wednesday, 29 October 2014

THE DARK SIDE OF YOUTUBE

For some reason, before the news of Sam Pepper sexually harassing and abusing young women and females I was oblivious to this dark side of YouTube. YouTube is somewhere I go if I feel sad, happy or anything inbetween. I decided that even though this news came out a while a go I would address and talk about it from a viewers perspective. I think that a lot of well known YouTubers and bloggers have spoken about it but I haven't really seen many viewers talk about this and I just wanted to air my initial feelings and how I feel now.

Sam Pepper was one of the first YouTubers I watched. He used light hearted humour, seemed incredibly genuine and just seemed like he was a nice person. Last year it seemed that a lot of his YouTube friends distanced themselves from him and he also began uploading content whereby he appeared to be harassing random women on the streets in America. As a viewer and also a fan of him I didn't see this. My support for him went as far as buying one of his snapbacks as soon as he released them despite knowing I'm not a snapback kind of gal. That has since been discarded because I don't wish to be associated with anything to do with him.

In this new internet age it's so easy to get totally drawn in to random internet personalities. On one part it's fun and unbelievable that you can connect with anyone around the world at the click of a button. On the other hand it's scary. On YouTube you see small snippets of people's lives and this can lead you to believe that this person is a great person even though you don't know them.

When I heard the news about Sam Pepper I felt totally numb. I idolise so many people that I only know from the internet and it just proves that you literally have no idea what goes on when the cameras are off. After the news I didn't wish to watch any videos because it scared me. I'm scared that the trust I have put in these people from the internet is wasted and they'll all turn out the same.

I don't want this. I'm sure there'll be hundreds maybe even thousands of cases of this appearing and that's incredibly sad. People are abusing the power that they have over thousands, even millions of people that genuinely adore them. I won't let this get to me, I wish to use this as motivation to start my own channel. To restore faith within YouTube and the YouTube community. If you're a viewer then please be safe, if you're a content creator then please do not abuse your authority.
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Tuesday, 28 October 2014

BEFORE I TURN 19...

Hi guys, I turned 18 over two months ago and I've been meaning to write a post listing a few of the things that I hope to do or achieve before I turn 19. I'm hoping to use this post as a checklist over the next year.

1. Start Driving
I NEED to start driving soon. It hasn't really been a priority for me but I think that it will help me gain more independence and I also have more time on my hands now.

2. Reach 250 blog followers
It would be an absolute dream if 250 people followed my blog on bloglovin, there's a link in the side bar of my blog if you want to follow me :) To do this I need to keep posting regularly which I also hope to do for the next year.

3. Reach 1000 subscribers
I haven't started my channel yet but I will be very soon. For some reason I think that gaining YouTube subscribers is a little bit easier than gaining blog followers so I'll guess we'll seen next year! I'll be posting my videos on my blog so that you can keep up to date when I do start posting videos.

4. Start my own small business
If you didn't already know I am currently at college studying graphic design. I love every aspect of it and would love to encorporate some of the skills that I am learning to create phone cases and possibly even graphic tees. I think I'll start looking into it in the new year. For now I'll just doodle some designs and see what happens.

5. Go out of my comfort zone
I want to go on spontaneous adventures (assisted by me completing number 1 on this list). I'd love to go to either France or Italy next Summer. I also just generally want to say to yes to doing more things and do things that I wouldn't usually do.

6. Record everything
Photographs, drawings, videos, anything. I love being able to look back at days out or things that I've done be it looking back at a video or a blogpost that I've written in the past. I really enjoy looking back at memories and this last point on my list also makes me want to do more exciting things.

I'd urge everyone to write a little list of things they hope to do then review it maybe a weeks later, a month later or like me a year later. Thanks for reading and I'll see you soon.
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Sunday, 26 October 2014

DON'T WASTE TIME, START NOW

"If you had started doing anything two weeks ago, by today you would have been two weeks better at it."

YouTube has been quite a big part of my life for the last three or four years. I watch way over 50 videos a week and I've always wanted to make my own. I started blogging in January 2013 but even before then, YouTube was something that I wanted to do.

I feel like I'll always partly regret my decision to wait so long to start a channel however I realise that (hopefully) because I've waited so long I have more of an idea of what I want to upload and also the times that I've filmed videos and edited them then not uploaded are times that are developing my skills so it wasn't all wasted. 

I hope that you'll all enjoy and support my videos because I'm really excited to finally get started.

I've decided to begin in the new year, I've got a few things to sort out before then and then I'll have the time to put my all into my channel. I want my videos to be engaging, entertaining and to some degree of use to you so here's to the future. 
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Thursday, 23 October 2014

MAKEUP HAUL

It's official, I'm the worst at saving money. I desperately need a new laptop but I just can't help myself every single time I'm in a shopping centre I just end up spending money. Anyway, I thought I'd share some makeup that I picked up recently. On Sunday I suddenly decided that I'd like to start wearing makeup. I watch and read a lot of beauty bloggers and vloggers however I have never felt that I want to wear makeup myself until now. In this day and age it seems totally unheard of for an 18 year old girl to not wear makeup and I find it even weirder that one of my younger sisters wears makeup pretty much all the time.

If truth be told I've never felt like I need to wear makeup because I'm perfectly happy with the way that I look but I've decided that I want to dabble in makeup because I always enjoy playing with it. Here's the few things that I picked up. (Granted the nail polish isn't exactly makeup but I thought I'd include it seeing as I purchased it on the same day.)


Starting at the top left clockwise;

-Seventeen Contour Kit
-Collection Lasting Perfection Concealer in 1 Fair
-Rimmel Kate Moss Lipstick in 30
-Rimmel Eyebrow Pencil in 001 Dark Brown
-Rimmel Lash Accelerator Endless
-Maybelline Color Show Polish in 352 Downtown Red

Regular posts will resume from now because I'm on half term so check back for more posts soon! Bye.
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Friday, 10 October 2014

A TRIP TO OXFORD

Hi guys, I have a few photos from college trip to Oxford that I went on about a month and a half ago and really wanted to share them. We went to look at a couple of the museums for inspiration for our coursework and also to have a look around. We had a look at the shops and I desperately want to go back to do some shopping so hopefully I'll persuade Mum to take me on a 'business trip' soon.






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Thursday, 9 October 2014

NEW FRIENDS

You know when you meet someone and somehow you click instantly? You have the same interests, you have similar hobbies and aspirations?

Well. That's exactly what's happened to me. I started my new college course a month and a half ago and instantly joined a 'group' of friends consisting of me and another three girls. Two of them have left the course to do other things so it's just me and one of us left. However, I couldn't be happier that it's her.

It's so crazy how one day you don't know someone at all and the next you feel like you've known them forever. I guess the fact that she blogs about her life and other things has helped me find out a bit more about her. Now I don't want to sound like a creepy person here but I feel like we're going to be great friends and I'm so excited about the fact she also has a YouTube channel. We've already planned to do collab videos so look out for them in the future!

Within the first few days of college we went on a trip to Oxford. We spent the hour and a half coach ride there and back non stop chatting (mainly me talking but she didn't seem to mind) and we talked about what we had been doing in terms of education the previous year and she decided to leave A levels at the end of AS and move onto the Graphic Design course that we're both on now. I almost did the same a year ago.

It's so crazy that literally everything in my life is working out, everything is finally falling into place.

My advice to you? Take chances, speak to new people, try new things and don't let anything or anyone hold you back. This is YOUR life, live it how you want to. If something is affecting your happiness then change it now, stop saying 'tomorrow' and say 'NOW'.
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Wednesday, 8 October 2014

KNITWEAR HAUL

Hi guys, I popped to Loughborough to see a couple of friends at their university (read about it HERE). Me and one of my friends went into the town centre to have a little browse and grab a bite to eat. Right next to Costa where we ate was a big Topshop. I was going to go in anyway and then I noticed the '20% off student discount' sign outside and that tempted me even more.

I really was trying to save my money but I convinced that I'd end up picking up these items at some point anyway and may as well use the discount while it's available (is that enough of an excuse?) Anyway, here are the items that I picked up, as always I'll try my best to show these pieces in some OOTD's soon!


I couldn't help picking up another pair of my favourite slip ons, this time in black ready to be worn with everything. The knitted jumper and hat are so snug I LOVE them. The jumper has a really nice oversized fit and I've been enjoying throwing it on on cold mornings with a pair of jeans for a simple college outfit. Hats were never really my thing until last year when I ended up acquiring three in the space of a couple of months (oops!) but I love how they look and I love that this one is slouchier than my others.

Finally, the grey scarf is from Primark for a few pounds. I brought an aztec print scarf from NewLook and it's warm enough for the Winter months but I wanted something extra snuggly and long to keep me super warm.

That's everything, apologies for no post yesterday but I get in from college just before the sun starts to go down and sadly I didn't have time to get pictures yesterday. Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll see you soon! Bye
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Monday, 6 October 2014

POSITIVE CHANGES

Firstly, apologies for the text heavy posts recently, I don't really like posting blogposts with no pictures but at the moment I don't really know what kind of picture I can put with my rambly diary type posts but I love writing them so no picture will have to do for now. I've felt a little bit down for the last couple of days so I decided to perk myself up and really acknowledge the positive changes that have occurred in my life recently.

1. I finished sixth form in June this year and although I was petrified of the unknown I felt so relieved when I finished. Through the first quarter of sixth form I was incredibly unhappy and sadly through this time I let my work ethic slip and ended up with a back log of overdue work that haunted me to the end. I've definitely learnt from this and am now trying my hardest to stay on top of the work I'm set at college.

2. My best friends have left to continue their studies at University and I have joined a college course. A few months ago I was so sad at the thought of them leaving but, the fact that I am now on a college course that I love more than anything and I'm surrounded by so many lovely people I feel like I have been distracted from this huge event happening. Obviously I know it's happened but I also know that although my best friends are miles away I'm becoming friends with people a lot closer to home.

3. As soon as I finished sixth form I started working for my Mum's business. We're currently trying to figure out a timetable that will fit around me going to college and also give me time to do my college work at home and also have some extra time to relax and get some blogging done!

4. Going back to point 1. This time two years ago I was totally set on leaving sixth form. I felt like this was the only thing that I could do to make me happy again. I didn't leave, I stuck it out till the end but looking back I feel like maybe I'd be closer to knowing what I want to do in the future had I have left a year or so earlier. BUT, I wouldn't be best friends with the people I am now if I'd have left, I also wouldn't be on my college course with the people I am now.

I don't regret any of the decisions that I've made because they've lead me to where I am now.
I'm happier than I've ever been. No matter how you feel, know that things will work out eventually.
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Sunday, 5 October 2014

FIRST OUTFIT OF AUTUMN


Hi guys, while I love a good outfit picture on a white wall taken on my camera, at the moment that isn't possible. Last year I found out my digital camera has scratch down the lens so when the light is caught at a certain angle the image looks awful AND I've broken my tripod :(

But, the show must go on and I've decided to do a few outfit posts in a 'mirror selfie' style. I hope that you like the outfit. This is a typical outfit that I'd wear to college and with a leather jacket thrown on for warmth I think it would make a great Autumn outfit.


OUTFIT DETAILS

Aztec print scarf - Newlook
Black Tee - Newlook
Grey Jeans with faux leather detail - Primark
Bag - H&M
Check shoes - Topshop
Watch - Casio


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MY COMFORT ZONE

Hi guys,
If you didn't know, my friends have now gone off to university and while I was excited about the prospect of meeting them a lot, I was also incredibly apprehensive.

Visiting them involves getting the train and whilst I can hop on a train confidently with friends I suddenly feel huge pressure when faced with the idea of having to travel on my own. I'm a huge worrier so I stress about knowing every detail, important or not.

However I'm writing this post now, on the train home from visiting two of my friends at their university. Having arrived at my local station with plenty of time I collected my tickets, found out the platform I needed to be on and took a seat in the cafe to read a magazine.

While the lead up to today left me feeling incredibly anxious, I feel confident in knowing that I managed to do it on my own without any problems. (Apart from missing my train home :S) Had I let the fear of travelling on my own stop me then it would have taken me longer to conquer my fear.

Do things that scare you often because you might realise that it's not as scary as you think. As I said being a massive worrier makes me scared to do a lot of things but today has proved that if I really set my mind on something then I can do it.

PUSH YOURSELF TO DO THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
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Saturday, 4 October 2014

LATE BLOGTOBER

Hi guys, I know I haven't posted in a while and I'm kind of annoyed at myself for not keeping on top of things. But, in an attempt to make up for the lack of posts, I have decided to challenge myself to do 'Blogtober' (granted it is a slightly late start but better late than never!). A lot of YouTubers do 'vlogtober' where they attempt to film their daily goings on every day of October. I'm not quite ready to film my life yet so I've decided to do the blogging equivalent and blog every day starting now.

I can't help but feel like I've been incredibly unproductive throughout September so I hope that this will help me feel like I'm achieving something everyday. The type of posts that you will see will vary between fashion posts, advice posts and 'diary entry' type posts. I'm really excited to get started and to keep myself going I'm going to set myself a target. I hope that with these daily posts I'll be able to reach 100 followers on bloglovin. I'm currently on 30 followers so I've got quite a way to go but it's something to aim for!

I'll see you tomorrow with not one, but TWO new posts. Thanks for reading
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Sunday, 14 September 2014

NEW BEGINNINGS

Hi guys, if you weren't aware I recently got accepted into University (I say recently, I mean about a month ago). After much deliberation I decided to decline my offer.

I gave myself a couple of weeks to find something to do, I was pretty set on not going into a full time job and while I was looking on the site of a local college I stumbled across a Graphic Design course. I applied and went to a few induction days and then enrolled on the course.

I've been at college for a week already and have met some amazing people and the course is essentially perfect for me. I was so nervous about even applying but I have a feeling that the decision will be one of the best I've ever made.

I love art and drawing and designing so this course will give me lots of experience with all of this and more. I forgot how much I missed GCSE art and I'm so glad that I'm now on a course that focuses solely on it. I got my timetable last week and I'll have plenty of time to work and earn money while I'm studying, I'll also try my best to really focus on my blog too.

I can't believe that I spent the majority of sixth form panicking about the future and now I feel totally relaxed about it. I'm gaining another qualification and meeting loads of like minded people. I'm so excited to see what the future brings in the next two years of the course.
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Monday, 8 September 2014

GETTING READY FOR AUTUMN | COLLECTIVE HAUL

Over the past couple of months I've started earning money, I've also celebrated my birthday and start college. All of this added together could only mean one thing SHOPPING. I've posted quite a few hauls recently but this will be the last one for a while because I need to start saving!

Anyway, I love all of the pieces that I am featuring in this haul and I think they're all great pieces to help with the transition into Autumn Winter which I am really excited about.

Boots - Primark

Bag - H&M
Scarf - Newlook

Black Tee - Newlook
Crochet Detail Shirt - Topshop
Check Shirt - Zara

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Saturday, 6 September 2014

PRIMARK JEANS: HAUL

Hi guys, I've been shopping quite a bit recently and when I was shopping I realised I only owned one pair of jeans so I decided to pick up a few pairs.


The only pair of jeans that I had were a black pair of Topshop Leigh's. While I think a good quality pair of jeans is essential I decided to go for a cheaper option and had a look at the jeans that Primark had to offer. I picked up a blue pair of skinny jeans and two grey pairs. I really like the detail on the grey pairs and I can't wait to style them in some outfit posts really soon!

I also just wanted to mention that I paid around the same amount for all three pairs as I did for my pair of Topshop jeans. I think I'll probably still buy Topshop jeans because they are so comfortable and have such a lovely fit but I love these three pairs too.

Look out for more posts really soon and I'll see you soon!
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Tuesday, 2 September 2014

MY 18th BIRTHDAY


Hi guys, I know I haven't posted in a while but I've been pretty busy and I'll talk about that more soon but today I thought I'd write a post about my 18th birthday because on the 18th August I turned 18!

I'd decided that I wanted to go to London for the day with a few of my close friends as I've never been one to have a big party or anything to celebrate my birthday, I just prefer a chilled day.

When we got to London we spent a good few hours on Oxford street then stopped for some food and then headed to a couple of the big parks. First of all we sat in Hyde Park for a while and then made our way to Primrose Hill when the weather took a turn for the worst and it started chucking it down.

Overall I had a really nice day doing a bit of shopping and just relaxing with my friends. I took a few photos too so decided I'd share them in this post.





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Saturday, 23 August 2014

MARC JACOBS: DAISY DREAM

Hi guys, when I popped in to Boots to get a few beauty bits (see post HERE) I decided to also treat myself to a new perfume. I have been wearing Ghost religiously for the past couple of years and fancied a change.


I've seen this perfume all over YouTube and decided to give it a sniff and it's lovely. Very sweet and fruity and right up my street. Let's also take a moment to talk about the bottle, it's absolutely beautiful.


Although I haven't been tagged by anyone I thought it might be a good idea to answer the 9 tag questions in this post, enjoy!

1. What are you currently day dreaming about? Autumn/Winter. I love the colder months and love wrapping up and layering clothes. I also love the build up to Christmas. I'm so excited!

2. What three items live in your dream wardrobe?
- A Mulberry Handbag
- A black real leather jacket
- A classic pair of Louboutins

3. Who's your dream celeb look a like? I think Vanessa Hudgens is beautiful, I love her hair and her clothes. Can I have her wardrobe please?

4. In your eyes, who's currently living the dream? Personally I think that anyone who is working a job that they thoroughly enjoy is living the dream.

5. What do you dream of more; love or money? I'd be lying if I said solely love. I think love is important in life but I also love buying things, especially if I've worked hard to earn them.

6. Your dream holiday escape? I really really want to travel around the globe but if I was to pick one place it would be travelling around America for a couple of months.

7. Who's your dream Youtuber collab? I can't pick one, there are so so many talented YouTubers that I'd love to film with.

8. Did your childhood dreams ever come true? I can't really remember any of my childhood dreams. I used to want to be a Primary School Teacher and recently I got accepted into university to study it but I no longer wish to go. So I guess it half came true.

9. If one of your dreams could come true right now, what would it be? I'd love to be featured in a fashion magazine. A girl can dream...

I hope you enjoyed this post and I'll see you really soon with some more posts, bye.
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A FEW NEW BEAUTY BITS

Hi guys, I recently picked up a few beauty bits to try out and thought I'd share them with you. I may also review a couple of the items when I've tried them out.


- Neutrogena Visibly Clear Blackhead Eliminating Daily Scrub
- Carmex Original
- Topshop Matte Nail Polish - Sapphire Shores
- Toni&Guy Casual Sea Salt Texturising Spray
- Aussie 3 Minute Miracle Reconstructor
- TRESemme Salon Finish Freeze Hold Hair Spray
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Saturday, 16 August 2014

WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO RECENTLY

Hi guys, the past couple of months have been crazy and I wanted to just do an update/round up post to summarise what I've been up to so I hope you like it.

1. I finished college forever on the 25th June. I have incredibly mixed emotions about it because I don't miss it at all. You know people say 'school days are the best days of your life'? Don't believe them. The best days of your life are the ones you make the best. I have been so happy since finishing college and I intend to stay happy.

2. I've been working alongside my Mum in her business which has been a lot of fun. I was really unsure about how we would work together but things are going really well at the moment. It's a very creative job and I didn't realise how much I've missed art, I haven't done anything 'arty' for over two years since I finished my Art GCSE.

3. My parents and two little sisters went away for a fortnight camping at the end of July and me and my Mum decided that instead of shutting shop for the two weeks I would run the business on my own. Doing that and also running the house (my brother is nearly 20 but is only really at home to sleep) I felt a huge sense of independence and surprised myself with how much I managed to do.

4. I went to collect my A level results and didn't do too badly. At the moment I'm unsure what my next step will be but at least I know that I have my A levels to help with whatever the next step will be.

5. I'm 18 in two days! I will, by law, be classed as an adult. It won't really change much but I feel like it will be a fresh start for me. As I mentioned in my previous post, I spent a lot of sixth form dreading school and petrified of the future but all I feel now is excitement for the future. I'm ready to do things that I enjoy and start taking steps in building my career.
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Friday, 15 August 2014

A LEVEL RESULTS


Hi guys, yesterday I went back to school to collect my A level results. I was a lot more nervous than I expected to be but I didn't do too badly. When I got home I checked UCAS and saw that the offer that I had accepted for university had gone through and I had secured my place, however I don't wish to go to university.

For the past two years I was very unsure about going to university and I wasn't willing to spend a lot of time and money on something that I didn't have my heart set on. Since finishing school over two months ago I have been working for my Mum's business and I've honestly loved every second. It involves making things, taking pictures of products and also involves technology and online shops. I'm glad that I was persuaded to accept the university offer because it meant that if I did change my mind I would still have a place.

For a lot of people, most of my friends included, university is going to be great for starting their dream careers but for some people, working and earning money straight away is the best thing to do. I no longer wish to become a primary school teacher and would have no idea what course I'd study at university if I were to go.

I spent a lot of time over the past two years upset and hoping to leave sixth form and do something different but if I had left I wouldn't have my A levels, I wouldn't have the most amazing best friends that I have now and I definitely wouldn't be the person I am today. I'm ready to experience different things and take any opportunities that are offered to me.

If you collected your A level results or will be collecting GCSE results soon then I hope you get the grades that you hoped for. But please remember that grades aren't the be all and end all. There are plenty of incredibly successful people with no grades. There are lots of options available if you didn't do as well as you hoped.

Thanks for reading and I'll see you soon! Bye.

P.S. I didn't want to put up a post without a picture so this is what I wore to collect my results.
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